Day 8. Having faith in the approach of a guru

Day 8. Having faith in the approach of a guru

 

A few days ago I saw my believer character in action. Someone sent me an email about a healer. The healer claimed to cure all diseases through diet. I decided to watch the attached video as I was hoping for new insights.

A while ago I’ve started the dr. Kelley diet, which has been tested by many people who were sick and got better again, which proved to me its effectiveness.

When watching the video I was very enthusiastic, the healer claimed that if we do not eat hybrid fruits and vegetables and use his  supplements we will be healthy again within a certain amount of time. I decided to google the person and when reading his website and corresponding recipes I was even more excited. With this diet I could eat much more than now, and the supplements that were used were much less in number than the one I use now, and I thought, gosh that would be a lot cheaper as well. I heard a testimonial from a former patient who spoke with praise about the healing process and the healer. I believed everything I read and heard.

Later, I saw all kinds of negative information about this healer, where witnesses told they lost a lot of money to the so-called doctor without cure. My positivity turned into negativity and ultimately I came to the conclusion that we were dealing with a charlatan.

My believer character was triggered, because firstly I am interested in diets and secondly I have the idea that I know quite a lot about nutrition. I also like to convince others of the fact that I know more about nutrition than they do. I like  to be in the spotlights with controversial news and getting positive attention through this.

Lately I got the idea that I would like to add some more carbs to my existing diet because now I eat mainly vegetable/fruit/fish/eggs which seems  boring to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look out for a diet that gives me more freedom, such as adding some carbohydrates, because the diet that I follow is boring to me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel bored by the diet that I follow because of the belief that my diet now is monotonous.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to to feel bored and longing for more variety within my diet and trying out all sorts of dishes, like I was programmed as a child by my parents.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to search for excitement within cooking my own invented dishes to get attention from others when the end result is delicious, where I participate within polarity of stress versus boredom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the tendency to deviate from my diet because of me being bored with it, and because of the colder period in winter where I believe that I need heavier foods.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that my body requires in winter heavier foods instead of investigating and testing out what it truly is what my body needs.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to think soup will support my body, and therein creating a craving for soup and hot dishes. And within that, I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be directed by other dietary requirements, rather than feeling what is right for my own body.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see/understand/realize what is good for my body and what diet is supportive, but simply following something that is recommended by someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I like food so much that I’m afraid I cannot maintain this diet through being challenged by food all the time. And within that, I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to sabotage myself through thoughts, instead of stopping these thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to manipulate myself through thinking that I love good food so much, as my parents taught me by sharing with me that nice and comfort food is more important than eating healthy, and to hold on to this programming.

I see myself still doubting whether this diet I follow is good for me, there is so many contradictory information out there on the Internet. Raw food or no raw food, fruit or no fruit etc.

Thus far this diet supported me to lose a lot of excess weight so I feel more comfortable within my body, and I move easier.

I realize that by following a protocol like this I have a much more healthier lifestyle than before, where I do not use sugar, eat healthy fats, eat lots of vegetables and fruits supplemented by nuts, eat fish and whole grains (soaked) and I provide myself with additional vitamins and minerals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy a mind program of my father who loved food and always drank and ate what he liked and never took his health into account.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be jealous of others who have the same eating habits as my father. And within that, I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to not see/understand/realize that my father was an unhappy, frustrated man who had a substantial overweight all of his life instead by eating what he felt like, instead of eating what supported his body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to follow my programming when it comes to food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I’m bored with the diet that I follow and I think I love good food, in which I follow my mind and do not act upon what’s best for my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see/understand/realize that I ate my whole life the food I wanted, as in following my mind’s appetite, instead of being connected with my body and give my body the healthy food it needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid to make a dissipation/exception, because I am afraid I will no longer be in control and able to direct when it comes to my food intake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry that I’m completely lost in exceptions and no longer can follow my diet effectively.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire food that is not on my diet list.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel aggrieved when I see other people eating in a restaurant or a home-cooked meals that I grave as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of people who can drink and eat everything without getting health problems.

Hier zou je ook eens kunnen kijken naar restricties/bang zijn iets te missen/iets niet mogen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of people who can go out for dinner in a restaurant, or are able to have a coffee at a terrace, or be invited to eat a meal with someone which I cannot eat because of my genetic inheritance that will not permit this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I know more about nutrition than the average person and in this I would like to share my knowledge with others in order to get attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself trying to get attention of others in which I can share that I know more about a new diet/protocol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe by, seeing a video about a healing method, that what is told is the truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to google the healer to see if there is more known about the man where my attention is only focused on positive information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out for positive information about the healer so I can prove to myself that what I believe is true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/understand/realize that I want to believe what I see, because what I’ve seen suits me quite well, in the sense that with this other diet I can eat more and I spend less money on supplements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the healer, because I like to stroke my ego by thinking that I have found a new treatment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and disappointment when I see that there are opinions/information about this healer’s treatment that makes it less credible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt whether it would be sensible to switch to another diet that has not yet been tested by a large group of people, in contrast to the diet that I follow now, that has gained much publicity and has brought many people already positive results.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt the diet of this food guru, due to his “ban” on certain fruits, that have proven their healing powers in certain diseases.

I forgive myself have that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt switching to another diet, just because of the increased liberty on my food intake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be relieved when I discover I am dealing with a charlatan, so now l do not have to choose between the one and the other treatment, and I can simply continue with the regime that was firstly chosen by me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe something without first doing a thorough investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to time after time follow new information, become enthusiastic and not noticing that I enter a belief/opinion without doing my own investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a polarity of on the one hand a positive energy like enthusiasm, and on the other hand a negative energy in which I think I am cheated by some charlatan, though which I give myself the opportunity to be able to blame somebody else if anything goes wrong.

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to misled myself many times in my life by one or another type of faith.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is easier to believe in something, so I do not need to do more research and I don’t have to take self-responsibility.

When and as I see something of which I am excited about,  I stop and breathe. I realize there is a possibility of a belief system.

I commit myself to examine the possibility that I have to deal with a belief system and will, if necessary, correct it.   

I realize that it is a fine line between true knowledge and beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see when something is real or a belief.

When and as I see myself getting excited about something, I stop and breathe. I realize I still have blind faith in knowledge and information I read or hear that I do not investigate myself. And so, I commit myself to examine/investigate all that I believe, and I will, if necessary, correct it.   

When and as I see that I believe something, then I stop and breathe. I realize that I still believe in many things, and that investigation is needed to change my attitude/stance within reality. I commit myself to investigate every form of believe I have and to test it real time.

When and as I see that I am bored with my current diet,  I stop and breathe. I realize that my mind is always looking for some snacks and change (of I realize that my mind tries to create friction which gives me the impression that I am not allowed to enjoy life as much as I want to, so I will search for the the “forbidden fruit” so to speak to see how far I can go before I direct and correct myself). And so, I commit myself to support myself with breath, instead of thoughts about how great the taste of a particular dish would be, instead I will drink a glass of water or take a cup of tea.

Prev Day 7. Redefining the word cancer
Next Day 9. What I didn’t see and suppressed

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Marjo

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