At the moment, my large intestine is very much cramped. I am investigating what thought-patterns and emotional reactions I find related to and within this, as I see these of influence on the vegetative nerve-system through which I put pressure and constrictions on and within the intestine. I am not yet clear on how and what specific influence is happening here and will keep on investigating this inside myself. What I at the moment want to write about is the food.
Already for a while, I notice that my food is pretty aligned with my body in general, but there are specific influences that I could not get sight on. So every day I notice some small triggers within my food and also a combination of food that is ‘too much’ to digest. Because my intestine had already become stronger through the last few years, my body could more or less handle this. Now, with changing the living situation (from living alone to living together) and I assume, with the mind more integrated within and as the physical and the start of walking the quantum mind / quantum physical, I am coming into a new layer within myself. The layer within my body, within my intestine that I always notice on the background, where in I am feeling so much tiredness. Tiredness of myself and my body within this constriction, deep within myself/my physical body that I notice within the condition of a spastic colon. Deep within myself, I am (mentally and physically manifested) in a state of control, spastic.
So, looking at the necessity of becoming more specific within the application of self-forgiveness on the thoughts, emotions (and feelings), I see that I also need to apply this with the food I take. I did not use a specific guideline in relation to this condition. I am eating pretty much as how it is mentioned within the blood-type diet (blood-type A) and also as how some tests with bio-resonance are showing, where in it seemed that my food was still ‘quite okay’. However, I notice that it is not. It is not specific enough ‘okay’. If I need to be very specific within taking on my mind-system, then I also need at the moment to be very specific with the food I take in because as mentioned in the previous blog, my body/intestine has become sensitive to thoughts and emotions and also to food.
For the last few weeks/months, I saw myself taking in the food in some kind of hurry and I noticed some enslavement involved that I did not want to investigate, meaning I did not want to take a more specific look towards/within the food I take. I have a collegue who is very specific with food and with the care-taking of her body. So, now my condition had become very bad, meaning a very much constricted large intestine and no longer being able to release myself from the waste in an acceptable way, I discussed this with her, as she had already mentioned before a food-approach that is coming from Australia and that is applied within the condition of IBS/Irritable Bowel Syndrome where in the results are quite well.
I investigate this aproach and make the decision to start following this/testing this out. It is not so much different as how I am already eating, it is only more specific and coming from a different approach that is specific related to this sensitive bowel condition. While reading the guidelines, I see confirmed what I already noticed within myself when taking in some food, however I did not understand how and why I should react to this specific food so I kept on taking it in. Here it becomes clear to me every time how important it is and how it is of much support – to have information as a kind of frame to place our own physical investigations within.
Because and as long as I am interfearing in/as the mind within myself, I am not (yet?) able to really see and understand what it is that I experience, I am missing the frame, the context as certainty and so, I am not able to apply it effectively only by myself alone. Here it is clear how it is of so much importance to have much more context with regards to our own health. Context that is already available, but only for a very small group who has money and access within this area of the ‘natural healthcare’. The general public health service is not giving this context, it is very limited at the moment and so, it is very difficult for most human beings to get grip and sight on the health of their own physical body. But this is another subject on itself.
So, I have a context and guideline now to follow and I will start very specific applying this guideline. As specific as I have not yet done before. Until I see now, as mentioned above: if the mind is specificly programmed (in and as the (allowance of) myself) and if my body is sensitive for these specifities, then from a point of common sense I can conclude that my body is also specificely sensitive to food. As confirmed with information and physical test-cases within different physical applications that are used in relation to several bowel conditions.
I notice that I experience fear within myself to do so, which I see related to seeing/walking paste my comfortzone as how I know myself within my own mind-consciousness system, into a new area of/within myself, where it is as if I as my whole mind-consciousness-system is putting it’s ‘heals in the sand’ which gives this very tied constriction within my physical body, from neck to tale, with cramping consequenses for the intestine. I experience a fear of failure: what if this more specific application will not be of support, what if it will not work out? The ‘what if’ fear that I participate very much in, in relation to this physical condition. And that is something to walk within the application of self-forgiveness and self-corrections.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘what if my large intestine is always cramped like this and what if I am not able to release myself anymore?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘what if the poo is not coming out’?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the situation will always be like in the worst moments/days and within this, I participate in fear instead of supporting myself effectively within these ‘worst’ days.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the worst days will alway long.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on continuing participating in ‘worst case scenario’s’ in relation to my physical condition because and when I do not see a long term solution in/as the mind, instead of supporting myself physically breath by breathe, moment by moment and focus on who I am within this condition, towards and as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the small moments of support will not make a difference because I am already so long ‘busy’ with this condition that I expect a ‘miracle change’ in one day or nothing at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still expect one big moment of change and if this is not coming, I expect it to ‘not work out’, instead of learning to trust myself in every breath and walk it moment by moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, because I do not see an immediate solution and total understanding of my physical condition, I think and believe that I will ‘never get there’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience panic within and as myself when and as I am not able to release myself effectively from the physical waste.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the result as ‘being free of crampings and having a comfortable release-pattern of the waste of my physical body’, instead of focussing on who I am in relation to myself within this physical condition.
When and as I see myself participating in the thought ‘what if my intestine is always cramped?’, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is not effective in and as support for myself and/as physical body and it doesnot make any sense as it only brings more pressure/constrictions in/as the mind, in and on myself. I commit myself to stop participating in the thought ‘what if my intestine is always cramped’. If and when I do not know what to do in such moment, I focus on my breathing and see how I can make it as comfortable as possible within that moment in a physical position where in I do not feel the pressure all the time and so, do not stress myself out but instead, focus on the relaxation position that I place myself in. If this is not an option because of being for example at work, I will support myself to focus on stopping the participation in thoughts about the condition and slow down physically while I continue with my work.
When and as I see myself participating in the thought ‘what if I am not able to release myself anymore?’, I stop and breathe. I realize that it is unlikely that I wil not be able to release myself anymore and I realize that I have build a constriction over time and so, it takes time to walk through the consequence/walk it back to where it started. I commit myself to stop participating in the thought ‘what if I am not able to release myself anymore’ and to focus on my breathing until the experience of panic becomes less, which is most of time related to a specific point/place within my intestine where I stored some experiences that I experience/recall over and over again when the poo is pushing against these fibers/muscles that are constricted. I commit myself to keep on looking into specific thought-patterns and stored emotions that lead to this build up constriction through time and support myself to release myself from the related energy with sounding self-forgiveness.
I realize that I have placed so much guilt on myself because of this condition where in I lost sight on my own responsibility within this condition. I commit myself to stop participating in an experience of guilt related to my physical condition. I commit myself to investigate/release myself from the pressure of expectations within and as myself in relation to my physical condition and who I think that I am supposed to be/become.
When and as I see myself focussing on a result in and as being free of crampings and having a comfortable release of waste, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am participating in a future-projection in polarity of the fear of ‘that I will never get there’ and so, create that I will never get there. I realize that I expect a miracle-solution in/as the mind in ‘one moment’ and if not so I believe I will never get there, instead of walking the solution physical, day by day, breathe by breathe where in I learn to focus on who I am in every breathe. I commit myself to stop focussing on a result of being free of cramping and having a comfortable release of waste and instead, focus on learning to release myself from the constricting thought-patterns and related emotions in/as the mind, by applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application on specific thoughts and patterns that are coming up through the day, related to my physical condition.
I realize that it is a lot of work and so, that it takes time to walk through, where in I realize that I experience the same ‘I will never get there’ as when I started to walk this process by walking the conscious and subconscious layers. I commit myself to keep on walking day by day, moment by moment in and as the realization that I did walk through the layers of the conscious/subconscious system into a more comfortable ‘living’ and so, I have seen and proven for and as myself that it is possible to stand up in equality towards and as my own mind-consciousness system if and when I walk in patience and take very small steps. Not as an end-result to focus on but as a support for and as myself to realize that it will not always be like how it is in the worst/tough moments.
I commit myself to support my physical body / my large intestine to calm down by taking only food specificely as how described that is allowed and not triggering the intestine unnecessary within the guideline of the FODMAP-diet as a physical tested support for the condition of IBS for the next 4-6 weeks as how is described. (One can google FODMAP to see what it contains – I use a Dutch PDF-document that I received).
I commit myself to start cleaning my large intestine with colon hydro-therapy as a physical support to release the physical waste as detoxes that I build up through the years within my intestine, as a support to calm down the vegetative nerve system and as a support for my intestine to find it’s rhythm and peristaltic movements again within the possibilities of my physical state and as a support for myself to release myself from the panic about toxicating myself because of this not optimum physical state of my intestine.
I commit myself to keep on writing and to push myself to do so as I notice that within the writing, I give myself direction and lead myself through this rough/tough physical state in which I release my intestine from the mental waste that I put on and in where in I realize that I need direction and so, I need myself to lead myself through.
This blog does in no way contain a medical advise. With unclarity about a condition – physically or mentally – always contact a practioner/specialist/doctor in the related area to get the support you need and from here, see how you can additionally walk your own process to get to know and support yourself in relation to your own body and mind.